Aku tak faham lah benda ni. serius.
aku tak faham bila ada orang cakap pada akhirnya dia akan sendiri. walhal aku nampak dia dikelilingi ramai orang. kenapa nak sendiri pulak? berjuang seorang diri?
begitu juga dengan wife aku.
kebelakangan ni dia selalu sebut hanya saya seorang je yang boleh handle benda ni, dan saya keseorangan. no one can understand her, katanya. aku jadi bengang la jugak. i told her i am always be there for her (trying everytime) and ready to listen to her thought and rants, daily ball busting life. and most of times i didnt understand her, she said. sampai at one point she refuses to share anything, katanya bila dia share dia jadi berharap, dan bila orang tak faham dia akan frust, basically her thought eats her alive, and we quarrelled about this many times.
agh. sakit otak.
tadi masa tengah dodoikan Lily, aku teringat, at a one point of my life, aku pernah merasa begitu.
yep that shitty feeling was real. you think bila dah share everything dengan someone, even the closest to you, even dia cakap dia faham keadaan kau, kononnya terpaling memahami, the truth is, they were never close to it.
and by the end of the day, the only person you get is you. its always you. hanya kau sendiri boleh faham diri kau, bukan orang lain.
definitely.
be your own light, be the main character of your own life story, be the one who can lead yourself, be- you get the idea, right?
be your own hero means, pull yourself together, save yourself, be better. be better than yesterday. be better self than you were 10 seconds ago.
start with little change.
and always be kind to yourself and everybody you meet for everyone has their own silent battle.
I am always around for you, and please bagitau if you want me, because i cannot know whats in your heart and whats in that big beautiful mind of yours!
Aku pun sekarang tengah rasa ada something tengah simmering, cooking inside me and gonna hit me like a tsunami one day haha.
apa tu? entah? i always choose to ignore it.
A.M.